


Gotta Catch 'Em All!

by Neferit



Series: ST kink meme shorts [4]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Collection of Trading Cards, Community: st_xi_kink, Community: st_xi_kink_meme, Gen, Humor, Kink Meme, Nicknames, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 01:37:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neferit/pseuds/Neferit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gotta Catch 'Em All! - A collection of trading cards by Starkémon Co.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gotta Catch 'Em All!

**Author's Note:**

> So, the prompt said: The crew of the enterprise reach celebrity status after saving Earth, complete with action figures and trading cards. What info would be included on their trading cards?

****

Gotta Catch 'Em All - collection of trading cards by Starkémon co. Consist of cards:

 **Christopher Pike**  
 **Age:** 55  
 **Nickname:** Chrissy, Puncher  
 **Status:** single  
 **Likes:** beer, cheese cake  
 **Dislikes:** anything with bugs or slugs in it  
 **Most famous quote:** "Punch it."  
 **History:** Born in Montana, 2203, parents Adam and Elizabeth Pike. Other family: brother Josh, sister Amaziga.

 **James Tiberius Kirk**  
 **Age:** 25  
 **Nickname:** Jim, Tee, Kork, 2hot4U  
 **Status:** Single (although many count him as their own)  
 **Likes:** chocolate ice-cream, sirloin sauce with dumplings, hamburgers, cheesburgers, Pilsner Urquell beer  
 **Disliked:** dill-sauce, most vegetables, seafood, daddy issues  
 **Most famous quote** : "Buckle up!"  
 **History:** born on medical shuttle of USS Kelvin, parents Winona Kirk and George Kirk. Other family: uncle Frank, brother George Samuel, grandfather Tiberius, about 10 children of various races their mothers swear are fathered by Kirk.

 **Leonard Horacio McCoy**  
 **Age:** 31  
 **Nickname:** Bones, Sunshine, LeonardoDeBones  
 **Status:** single (divorced)  
 **Likes:** peaches, bourbon, popcorn  
 **Dislikes:** cheap bear, everything what makes fat stuff your veins, ex-wifes  
 **Most famous quote:** "I may throw up on you."  
 **History:** born in Mississippi, parents Eleanor and David McCoy. Former wife Jocelyn, daughter Joanna. Other family: the rest of the city, because everyone swears they are related to McCoys.

 **Spock**  
 **Age:** 28  
 **Nickname:** Sprocket, Spork  
 **Status:** taken  
 **Likes:** mint chocolate, plomeek soup, coffee  
 **Dislikes:** meat of any kind, otherwise, preferences are illogical  
 **Most famous quote:** "I have no comment on the matter."  
 **History:** Born on Vulcan, city of ShiKahr. Parents Amanda Grayson and Ambassador Sarek. Other known family: grandmother T'Pau, grandfather Skon, grandmother Amy, grandfather Jason, uncle Mark, aunt Monice, cousins Anne, Jack, Ellie and Tom.

 **Pavel Andreievich Chekov**  
 **Age:** 17  
 **Nickname** : Vonderkid  
 **Status** : single  
 **Likes:** borsch, vodka, cheesburgers, black tea  
 **Dislikes:** fries, cold water, letters V and W  
 **Most famous quote:** "Are we there yet?"  
 **History:** Born in Moscow, 2241, parents: Oleg and Natasha Chekov, other known family: sisters Olga and Yekaterina, brothers Alexander and Nikolay; Pavel Andreievich is descendant of Anton Pavlovich Chekhov.

 **Samuel Giotto**  
 **Age** : 22  
 **Nickname:** Cupcake  
 **Status:** single  
 **Likes:** beer, Andorian Sunrise  
 **Dislikes:** cupcakes, vodka  
 **Most famous quote:** "Helooooo, Cupcake!"  
 **History:** Born in Wisconsin, 2236, parents: Amelia and Anakin Giotto, other known family: uncle Padawan, uncle Yoda, sister Padme.

 **Noyta Uhura**  
 **Age:** 22  
 **Nickname:** Hotlips  
 **Status:** taken  
 **Likes:** tea, chocolate, Risan Lagoon  
 **Dislikes:** beer, asparagus, artichoke, boob grabs  
 **Most famous quote:** "You mean you do not have sex with farm animals?"  
 **History:** Born in Nairobi, 2236, parents: Victoria and Mwai Uhura, other known family: sister Mia.

 **Hikaru Sulu**  
 **Age:** 22  
 **Nickname:** d'Artagnan  
 **Status:** single  
 **Likes:** rice, pork, vegetables  
 **Dislikes:** fish, brakes  
 **Most famous quote:** "Hands up, pants down!"  
 **History:** born in San Francisco, 2236, parents: Kagome and George Sulu, sister Sango, brother Hojo.

 **Montgomery Scott**  
 **Age:** 36  
 **Nickname:** Scotty  
 **Status:** single (or taken, depends on Enterprise mood)  
 **Likes:** haggis, scotch, oatmeal, sandwiches of any kind  
 **Dislikes:** everything that barks  
 **Most famous quote:** "I didn't do it!"  
 **History:** born in Aberdeen, 2222, parents: Maeve and Kenneth Scott, brothers Malcolm and Duncan.


End file.
